


Gaudy Plumage

by crassenoughtocare



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, rarepair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-08-04
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crassenoughtocare/pseuds/crassenoughtocare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally a prompt from the kink meme, this has now completely run off into something completely different.<br/>Eridan has no hairspray. Shenanigans ensue, miracles occur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A few quick notes: Somewhere along the line this went from 'Everyone lusts over Eridan's hair' to 'Eridan's hair helps him to work a miracle, and also everyone lusts over his curls.' I have a sort of silly head canon that if things had not gone horribly wrong, Kanaya and Eridan could have had a somewhat dysfunctional but pretty decent moirallegiance. Also, that Terezi and Nepeta are a dangerous combination.

There was absolutely no way he was leaving his respiteblock looking like this. No. Fucking. Way. Eridan was far too vain to allow people to see him at anything less than his best. Especially when it came to his hair. His precious hair, so artfully dyed and sprayed and shaped and made to look perfectly tousled. It was ruined. He couldn’t find anything to style his hair with. No hairspray, no gel, no mousse, nothing. Without his hair, what was he? Thats it, he was never leaving this room again.

Unless he had to pee. Or got hungry. Or lonely. Oh god he was so lonely. Never mind embarrassment, he had to get out of isolation, now.

Eridan stared himself down in the mirror. ‘ _You can do this. Fuck them you have a cape! And your hair is ten times better lookin’ than all a theirs. Even in it’s hideous natural form. _’ Maybe he could alchemize some hairspray later. For now, he decided, being seen with his hair like this was a lesser tragedy than not having coffee and being all by himself all day.__

Going outside was either the worst or best decision Eridan had ever made. On the downside, everyone noticed. On the upside, everyone noticed. And God knows Eridan would take any sort of attention, good or otherwise. Of course, the first one to voice an opinion was Karkat.

“What the fuck happened to your hair?! It looks even more embarrassingly idiotic than usual. Do you have no shame?” Eridan just rolled his eyes.

“I’m allowed to have a little variety in my style, aren’t I? Not that I expect someone like you to understand a sophisticated thing like fashion.” He ran a hand back suavely through his curls, ignoring the way his rings caught slightly in the waves. Karkat muttered something about ‘stupid damn hipsters’ and went back to his breakfast. At least he kept his mouth shut. Funny thing was, he kept looking at the prince. Sharp, darting glances at his hair, intense, hateful and...wanting?

No, that was ridiculous. Karkat had rejected him in every quadrant, multiple times. Eridan was just getting his hopes up, and that could only lead to another night alone in his respiteblock working out his feelings with a pint of ice cream, or a night in Kanaya’s respiteblock, crying on her fabric pile. As strange as it was, Eridan just didn’t feel up to hitting on everyone today. His normal confident veneer just didn’t shine as bright without his hair perfectly coiffed.

He was halfway to the alchemizer when he heard someone call out to him.

“Hey Ampurrra, wanna come roleplay with us?” Nepeta and Terezi were both hanging around a doorframe, stacked on top of each other. This was the first time they (or anyone else) had invited him to role play with them. Usually he had to bother them for days before the girls would give in and let him put on his robe and wizard hat with them. So naturally, the sudden change of attitude made Eridan highly suspicious. Fucking land dwellers were always up to something sneaky.

“Er... Thanks Nep but I got some stuff to do, maybe later.” God what was wrong with him!? Why couldn’t he just be his normal, arrogant, sleazy self? He should be jumping at the chance to get alone with anyone, especially two girls! It seemed they had the same idea, and suddenly the two were coming at him, baring the same mischievous, disturbing, worrying grin. Slinking around him like adorable predators, Nepeta and Terezi brushed against him at intervals. Nepeta curled her tail up to brush his chest.

“Oh come on Eridan purrlease? Play with us, just for a little bit!” She was giving him the face, cod damn it not the face! She pouted at him with expert technique, mouth turned down, lip stuck out, lashes fluttering around, shining eyes. So cute. So pitiful. Almost as bad as Feferi's pout. Eridan kept his hands up away from the girls and did his best not to meet her gaze.

“You’re smelling especially delicious today! What happened to your hair?” Terezi cackled and tried to lick his hair. What the fuck was going on? He had no idea how to react to this. Were they... Hitting on him? Shit. Oh man they totally were. This was not how things usually went. Why was this happening? Oh god how did he deal with this!? Why did Nepeta keep touching his butt with her freaky cat tail? Eridan had no idea how to deal with physical contact initiated by others. Damn it, he was trying to be better about stuff like this! He was even getting advice from Kanaya on how to be less awful all the time!

“C-can you guys- I mean whats with the um... Don’t! Stop rubbin’ your face on me! God damn crazy fuckin’ land bitches!” This situation was officially highly uncomfortable. It now was sitting firmly at the intersection of ‘Social Awkwardness’ and ‘Bad Touch’. “Don’t touch my fuckin’ hair! Get off me ya psycho broads or I-I’ll!” He didn’t get to finish that sentence.

“What is this?! Nepeta what have I told you about contact with him?” Equius was now standing over all of them, holding his moirail up off the ground by the collar of her trench coat. Terezi absconded without hesitation. Sweet Lusus of God he was terrifying. Silently Eridan begged whatever deities that could possibly be out there to keep him from being beaten to a pulp.

“Awww but Equius!! We were just trying to have some fun! Purr Eridan nefur gets any attention at all!” Eridan watched her try the pout on Equius. The blueblood’s face softened a bit. No matter how creepy, STRONG! and terrifying he got, his one weakness would always be his moirail. He set Nepeta down gently and she purred against his chest. His gaze turned toward the seadweller. Aww fuck.

Very slowly, and very gently, Equius pulled Eridan towards him by the cape. Welp, this was probably it. He was going to die without ever getting laid. Eridan tried to keep his wits about him, but couldn’t hide the shear, unadulterated terror in his eyes.

“You. Are not to engage in any sort of lewd activity with my moirail at any time. Normally I would not speak out against someone as high as yourself, but in this case I simply cannot-” He stopped suddenly, his brow furrowing behind his glasses. “What did you do to your hair?” Eridan said nothing for a few seconds, trying to find his voice somewhere among the fear.

“Ah. I just. Changed... it. Cause y’know, I can do that if I want. N-now let me go, uhh lowblood. Thats a order.” Equius suddenly looked very distressed, and began to sweat. He gingerly reached to brush his fingertips against Eridan’s hair, almost in a state on enchantment. Eridan held his breath. The heel of Equius’ hand bumped against Eridan’s cheek, causing the terrified boy to let out a totally manly shriek and squeak out “Please let me go I wont touch her again!” Equius let him go quickly, drawing back like he had touched a hot iron.

“I-I apologize highblood. It was not my place t-to... Err Nepeta we must go now. I need a towel.” He stammered as he turned and fled. From her perch on his back, Nepeta turned and gave Eridan one last grin and a wave of her claws. Ever the gentleman, he bared his fangs at the cat girl and flipped her off. Kanaya would probably chastise him for being so rude later, but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care, just happy to be alive and unmolested.


	2. Chapter 2

Once they were gone, he leaned back against the wall and sighed heavily. What the fuck had just happened? Nothing was different today, well aside from his hair but there was absolutely no way anyone could possibly find his disheveled locks attractive. How was a nest of unruly waves and curls appealing? The embarrassment of the incident lingered. True things had been much worse for him before, but he was always getting rejected.

Had they really been interested in him? Nah, it was probably just some ploy to humiliate him. They couldn’t pull the woolbeasts hide over his eyes. No way was he going to let two obnoxious furry land dwelling chicks get the best of him. He was way too smart for that. Yeah. They didn’t fluster him at all. He had just been playing along. Y’know, for their entertainment.

When his knees felt sturdy enough, Eridan pushed himself away from the wall, adjusted his cape and made his way towards the transportalizer to the alchemy room. On his way he passed Kanaya, her arms full of brightly colored fabric. She slowed, eyeing him as he passed, one finely shaped eyebrow arching as she looked him over, nodding with a slight smile. Did she just give him some sort of approval? Oh man she totally dug his hair. Not that he cared about her approval. Because he definitely didn’t, even if she was the most stylish and fashion conscious troll he knew. Well, she did use him as a model. And she hadn’t told anyone about his interest in ladies clothing. And they had an unspoken moirailegence. They were secret moirails. So maybe he did strive for her approval.

The alchemy equipment was already in use. He transportalized into the room to find a pile of fabric. Those rectangle things the humans used. What were they called? Sheets? Yeah sheets! Who the fuck wanted sheets?

“Oh hey Eridan!” Aradia popped out from behind the alchemy equipment, another human recuperacoon sheet bundled in her arms. She beamed at him, her unfortunately dull teeth on display. Despite her being the absolute lowest of the low, Aradia was pretty okay. Ever since she blew up and came back a goddess, she had been really pleasant to everyone. Even Eridan, and no one was pleasant to him. (Except for Kanaya, every two days, in the privacy of her respiteblock.) He started to say something when her face expression shifted to one of shock and concern. “Oh my god! What happened to your face?” She dropped the sheet with the rest of them and moved towards him, examining the rather large bruise on his cheekbone.

“Oh, that? Nothin’ I can’t handle myself a course. Fuckin’ brute 'bout smashed my face in. Long story, don’t ask why.” He crossed his arms, face sullen, but he let her examine his cheek.

“Equius? For goodness sake what the hell is wrong with him? Ugh. I’m sorry. He has absolutely no self control sometimes. It’s awful, really. Did you put a repository of frozen hydration liquid on that thing yet? It’s sort of swelling.” Gently her fingertips brushed over the mark, apologizing when he flinched.

“A bag a ice? No, I’ll be fine. I’m tough.” He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but she just patted his chest and turned to stuff the sheets into her sylladex. “And what’s your deal with Equius? Thought you all were flushed or something.”

“Us?! Flushed?! Yeah, right. He wishes. Ugh, god I have absolutely no desire to be his matesprit. If anything, I’d go for kismesis, but I don’t even know if I want to be around him that much, in a hateful context or not. Plus its no fun when your parter doesn’t hate you back.” She shook her head slightly. “Sorry, I’m rambling. Let’s go get you a froz- some ice for that.” He almost protested when she took him by the wrist and lead him to the transportalizer. Holy shit, her skin was so warm. Warm and soft and untouched (or so he imagined).


	3. Chapter 3

The two of them arrived in the kitchen of the lab, which was thankfully empty. She hummed as she fluttered around, opening drawers and clanging shit around, god damn what the hell was taking so long?

“Here’s the ice!” She pressed the bag into his hand, nudging it towards his face. “I also put on some tea, I hope you like tea, I just assumed.” Her round eyes shouldn’t have been nice to look at. Everything about her was soft, all curves, shamefully stereotypical of the low caste she came from. No sharp elbows, stabbing hip bones, petite chest or razor fangs that so clearly indicated a beautiful woman of nobility, grace, and high status. Okay, so maybe he didn’t really like the thought of holding a girl like Vriska close in the throes of red romance. He vaguely wondered what holding anyone close felt like.

“A course I like tea, what kinda uncultured gutterblood do you take me for?” He watched the briefest flicker of hurt cross her face. Fuck. Couldn’t he go five minutes with out fucking something up? _'Apologize When You Inevitably Say Something Foolish_ ' He ran a hand trough his hair and swallowed his pride. “Shit. Sorry Ara, I didn’t... You know I just say stupid shit.” She smiled slightly and nodded at him, passing him a cup of black tea.

“It’s okay. Trust me that is far from the worst I’ve heard. And thank you for apologizing. That... It really means a lot to me.” Aradia sipped her tea politely, her manners impeccable as always. A small part of him wanted to deny apologizing to someone like her, but he shoved that part to the depths of his think pan. Instead he smiled sheepishly back.

“I'm tryin’ to be less of a douchebag.” His teeth worried his bottom lip. This conversation was going nowhere good. Could he trust her? “Gettin' kinda old, y'know? Im tired a everyone hatin' me platonically.” The tea was suddenly an intense point of visual interest to the sea dweller.

“I don’t hate you.” He raised his eyebrows at her, skeptically. “Really! I don’t. If I hated you I wouldn’t have worried about your face or made tea! Yeah, so you’re kind of an asshole. A lot.” He winced. “But so is everyone else! And...I think it speaks a lot to your character that you recognize your flaws and want to change.” Well that was... unexpected. And oddly well spoken for a girl like her. He cocked his head slightly.

“You really mean that?” She nodded emphatically. “I... Thanks. You’re kinda cool, you know that? I mean for a land dweller of course.” Aradia just rolled her eyes and giggled as she pushed at his shoulder playfully.

“Mhmm and you are a pretty nice guy. For a sea dweller of course!" She imitated his accent, teasing him gently. "I’m on to you Ampora. You can’t strive to be an asshat forever and get away with it.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Wish more people thought that about me.”

“Try being nice to them! You’re always decent with me, just try it with the others.” The rust blooded girl suddenly reached her hand out to touch his hair. Softly she trailed her fingers across his curls. It wasn’t like earlier, when Nepeta and Terezi had creeped the fuck out of him and tried to molest his hair. She was gentle, careful not to mess it up too much or drag her nails across his scalp. He almost let his eyes close, relishing the contact. For a moment they were silent.

“You... Have really nice hair.” His face must have looked taken aback because she nodded her head in assurance. “No really! It looks so much nicer on you like this. You’re... kind of a lot more attractive like this.” It must have hit her, what she said, because she suddenly took her hand away, covering her face with embarrassment. “Sorry! Wow, I just made things awkward didn’t I?”

“No, not at all. No ones- I didn’t think any- Uh. Your hair’s nice too. All wild and curly. Kinda like mine but like, really huge.” He reached out to pull one of her curls down, letting it spring back in place. She was giggling, her cheeks a dark maroon color.

“You like it, really? I always thought you’d like smooth, sleek waves...Like Feferi or something.” Feferi. Feeef. So tiny and petite and... And. No, fuck that! Just like Kanaya had lectured him the other night, ‘ _No More Whining Over Her It Is Time To Move On_ ’. Eridan waved his hand dismissively.

“Naw, your hairs much more interestin.” Feeling a tinge of confidence, he ran his fingers through the bottom of her wild curls, then tucked her hair behind her ear (he saw it in a movie once), taking note of the way she smiled and bit her lip. Then it hit him. Oh. This was that thing Kanaya had been trying to schoolfeed him. This was called flirting. They were flirting and she wasn’t pushing him away holy fucking shit this was amazing. He calmed his mind, letting Kanaya’s advice come back to him. ‘ _Show Attention To The Activities And Interests Of The Object Of Your Desire_ ’. “So, whats with all the sheets you were makin’?” Instantly Aradia perked up.

“They’re for my respiteblock! I haven’t had much time since I got back to do anything with it, and obviously I didn’t before. Robots don’t need sleep or respiteblocks you know.” He nodded as if he completely knew that already. “So now I’m making a pile to sleep on! And I figure it should be a good one, not made out of horns or robots.” Eridan suddenly realized how terrible sleeping on a pile of shitty wands was.

“That’s a fuckin’ good idea. Why didn’t I think a that?” Aradia shrugged and nodded toward the transportalizer.

“Would you want to help me a bit? I’ll give you some sheets and pillows and stuff! You cannot be comfortable sleeping in the wand pile.” Already she was up and taking care of their tea glasses, taking his ice from him and returning it to the freezer box. Eridan nodded dumbly for a moment and then sprang up, adjusting his cape and scarf. Fuck yeah this was almost like a kind of accidental date! Kanaya was the best fucking almost official moirail ever.

“You don’t have to give me shit, Im fine with just helpin’ out.” ‘ _Ensure That Your Behavior Is Polite And Gentlemanly And Do Not Grope Them Inappropriately_ ’ Eridan ignored any thoughts of slapping and/or grabbing her ass. Instead he appreciated the gentle swing of her hips from a distance, and did his best to keep his mind out of the gutter.


	4. Chapter 4

Aradia’s respite block was small. Really small. As in, up till this point Eridan had always assumed that the door lead to a closet. All the biggest rooms had been taken by the other eleven trolls (and shortly after that by four humans) as soon as it became clear they were going to be in the veil for an indeterminate amount of time. Aradia had ascended and returned just before the humans got there, and it was suspected that she failed to choose her room till last on purpose.

Aradia closed the door behind them and pulled the sheets out of her sylladex, laying them neatly on the ground. In the corner of the room was a decent nest of pillows and scalemates that Terezi had found guilty and sentenced to life under Aradia's care, instead of the noose. Turning to him, she suddenly looked puzzled.

“Isn’t it supposed to be awful movie night?” Karkat had enforced a strict policy of ‘team bonding’ in the form of shitty movie nights. Or movie days? No one knew if it was day or night anymore. Without a doubt, this idea had been pushed on him by John, but Karkat would never admit taking advice, or co-leading with the human. Everyone actually went, because if you didn’t, Karkat would bitch at you for the next week, and that was at least ten times worse than just going to hang out with everyone and mess around during the movie.

Usually these nights involved everyone over eating, Karkat and John holding each other while weeping at the shitty film, Kanaya dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief a few times and Vriska shouting obnoxiously at inappropriate moments.

“Cod damnit, that is today isn’t it? I hate fuckin’ movie nights.” Somehow it also always, always, turned into all the couples and almost-but-not-quite-yet couples getting disgustingly cute with each other. Embarrassing displays of affection just made Eridan miserable. Even the rest of the singles grouped together and threw popcorn at each other and any pair that engaged in sloppy makeouts.

But! Perhaps he wouldn’t have to be miserable this time. Aradia had been friendly to him for a while now, and there was no way they hadn’t been flirting a bit ago. Underneath his mop of curls, he plotted.

“Oh come on, they aren’t that bad! At least you can laugh at the sappy overdramatic romance, and it's the human's week so that'll be interesting. Pile construction can wait till later. We have...” She paused briefly “Ten minutes and thirty-two seconds. Five milliseconds, but you probably don’t care about that or anything smaller! Point is I am not sitting on the floor again.” With that, she grabbed hold of his hand.

Everything was horribly disorienting for a moment, and in a flash of red light they stood outside the ‘theater’ as the humans called it. What the fuck? Oh. Right. She was the goddess of weird time shit. “You okay there? Haha, sorry! I probably should have warned you before I warped out of there.” Eridan blinked to refocus his eyes and set a hand against the wall, trying not to fall over.

“Nope, nope, I’m completely used to time travel. Not a new experience at all. Damn that’s a sweet kind a science you got goin’ there Ara.” He realized he hadn’t let go of her hand. Keeping his discovery, and excitement, to himself, he wondered if she had noticed, but still didn’t let go. Aradia grinned up at him.

“Thanks! I think its pretty neat, hahaha! But now we need to get seats before Vriska hogs the good couch again.” She tugged him in the room, diving immediately on a small, overstuffed couch. Making herself comfortable, she sat on one cushion, patting the other beside her. “Quick! Before Vriska or Equius get here!” Mentally, Eridan did a celebratory fist pump. She wanted to sit by him. Right. Play it cool. This was not new at all for him, nooo sir.

Eridan practically leapt onto the seat next to her. He kept himself a few inches from her, as Kanaya would say ‘An Acceptably Intimate Yet Respectful And Cordial Distance’. And speak of the devil, there she was. His almost moirail entered gracefully with her ‘ _Most Intimate Friend_ ’, Rose. Bullshit, everyone knew they were getting it on behind closed doors. Rose and Kanaya were ‘just-close-girl-friends’ like Terezi and Karkat were ‘not-matesprits-you-stupid-fuck-no-that-is-not-a-hickey-you-make-me-sick’.

Anyway, Kanaya did happen to notice the seating situation. The corners of her lips turned up to give him a tiny smile, and though their eyes met for a split second, she got her message across to him. ‘ _I Am Pleased With Your Progress In Wooing Someone Finally Aradia Is An Excellent Girl Do Not Ruin This Which Is Perhaps Your Only Chance_ ’ ...or at least it was _something_ like that. They two ladies took a seat next to Karkat and Terezi, who were arguing over what movie to watch. Terezi pushed for the one with the human couple kissing and the 'deliciously colored female’ on the cover, while Karkat seemed set on the one with the human couple embracing in the rain. They were ignoring all input from John, despite the fact that he was supposed to be in charge of picking the human films.

As Equius arrived, Aradia didn't look at him, but made it very clear both seats were definitely occupied, sprawling her arms and legs out. Eridan glared at the blueblood, remembering the soreness in his cheek. From his side Nepeta waved at Eridan, swishing her tail flirtatiously. The rest of the chair was suddenly very occupied by Eridan's limbs and cape. This seat was made for two! No extra room here, especially none for devious cat-girls, move along.

“Eridan, I must say that your hair is very pleasant change.” Rose leaned on the arm of their couch towards Eridan, resting her chin on her hand. “Perhaps the time you’ve been spending with Kanaya is really doing you some good after all.” Kanaya leaned over Rose, beckoning him in with a finger. He stretched over the gap between their seats, tipping his head and extending his facial fins towards Kanaya.

“I advise you to treat her very well, she deserves someone whom she can trust not to hurt or degrade her. Also your hair looks fantastic like that.” He pulled back and nodded, pretending not to notice when both girls subtly felt his hair.

Oh yeah. Aradia did have trouble with quadrants in the past. Suddenly he felt a tad anxious. If he was an asshole to her, or talked about the hemospectrum, would she associate him with Equius and want him out of her life? Shit, this meant he had to be on his best behavior. At least in terms of watching what he said. Thinking before he spoke. But he could do this. (Maybe even make this happen.) He hoped he could, at least. He turned back to Aradia, who was animatedly chatting with John about making Karkat put on something besides crappy romance films. Eridan took the chance to scoot in a tiny bit closer to her.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn’t long before everyone was there and seated, and Karkat was hollering at everyone to sit down and shut the god damn hell up. This time Karkat had won the battle. The film was apparently an incredibly famous romantic movie on Earth, loved by every human female (and male, according to John). First there were some weak old humans, then young people (who might have been the old people, honestly how did humans tell each other apart without horns?), they were apparently kindling a black flirtation, but then suddenly flipped to red, and according to Jade, were never potential kismesis at all. Human romance sure was weird.

Aradia leaned over, holding in a giggle as she imitated the human actors funny accents. “If yer uh burrd, Im uh burrd!” She nudged him and nodded towards Dave, who did not look amused at the mocking of accents like his.

“When does someone get killed in this stupid thing?! Needs more blood!!” Vriska called out from around a mouth full of red vines. Underneath her, Tavros squirmed, visibly uncomfortable at her sitting on top of him for the third week in a row. He did steal the red vines from her and toss them to Aradia, who gave him a thumbs up, which the robot legged boy returned.

“You know Vriska, maybe you should take a few notes from this on how to be a little nicer to people you want to fill quadrants with!!” Feferi piped up from between Sollux and John, clearly sensing Tavros’ distress and taking it upon herself to speak up for the boy. Vriska shot her a look but kept her mouth shut. Tavros gave Feferi a worried look and mouthed ‘I hope so’, then promptly got a mouthful of Vriska’s hair as she shifted on his lap.

Using the commotion as a distraction, Eridan shifted his weight so he leaned towards Aradia, then slowly reached behind her, resting his arm on the back of the seat. For a second he thought she shot a sideways glance at him. Was she on to him? Was his plan already failing? If it was, he most certainly was not going to abort mission at stage two (achieving arm and shoulder contact). Ever so carefully, he let gravity move his arm downwards, pretending not to notice. Finally, his arm curled around her shoulder. Now, he waited.

She didn’t look at him, but smirked towards the screen and pulled his hand around her a little tighter. For the first time, Eridan tasted sweet, sweet, victory. Aradia put her own arm around him, reaching up to curl her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Instantly, he was like putty in her hands. His head dropped against her shoulder, encouraged to stay as she rested her cheek against his skull.

Much to his disappointment, she soon adjusted and removed his arm from around her. Instead of just rejecting his arm, she pulled on his shoulders gently, sideways. What the fuck was that supposed to- _Ohh_. Finally it clicked in his brain. He was supposed to lay down. But why? Was there a point to- _Holy shit her lap was so comfortable_. And her _hands_ in his _hair_. Dear god he could die a happy man in this instant. Happy, but still sexually frustrated. So he hoped to die later. After that last part was taken care of.

For now, he reveled in the feeling of her hands pulling through stroking, twisting his hair. No doubt, it would be a giant mess by the end of the movie, but somehow he just couldn’t find any fucks to give. He relaxed against her, not paying enough attention to notice the action around him.

Vriska snapped at Aradia, who rolled her head to look at her, brow raised to say ‘What do you want now?’

Across the room, Rose watched the two girls communicate silently, mentally taking note of how troll females spoke without words. She found it remarkably like the behavior of human teenage girls.

‘ _What the fuck are you doing with Ampora?!_ ’ Vriska raised her hands in a W shape, shaking her head, expression baffled.

Aradia shot back a look. ‘ _None of your damn business!_ ’

Vriska’s face twisted. ‘ _Really? Ampora? **Really?**_ ’

Aradia bared her teeth slightly, shoulders back, head forward, glaring. ‘ _Shut up!_ ’ or perhaps a more crude ‘ _Fuck off!_ ’

Vriska made a gesture with her hands and tongue that Rose didn’t quite understand, but Aradia’s reaction indicated that it was quite obscene.

Eridan didn’t really notice anything up until Vriska raised her hands and _whoa_ what the fuck was going on here? He sat up to look at Aradia, who didn’t look at him, just pressed her lips into a thin line and scowled at Vriska. The other sat smugly atop her uncomfortable cyborg throne, and smirked at them both, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Don’t even bother looking at her. She’s just trying to get to us. If we react anymore she wins.” Aradia muttered, now scowling at the screen. Conflicts with Vriska were nothing new to either of them. Still, uncalled for gesturing like that could be pretty inflammatory when made at the wrong troll. Eridan had half a mind to go over and smash her stupid fucking glasses. Something told him Aradia would not appreciate it, no matter what his reasoning behind it was.

Instead, he tapped his horns to hers briefly, delighted when she returned the gesture. Fef hardly ever did that for him, even when they were moirails. If that wasn’t progress, he didn’t know what was.


	6. Chapter 6

Out of their line of vision, Rose finally gave in and pulled out a notebook, scribbling down notes on troll behavior and courtship. Kanaya murmured explanations in her ear.

“The gesture Vriska made is considered _highly_ insulting. To put it in human terms, she called Aradia a woman of loose morals and implied sexual activity between her and Eridan. In most situations, such an insult would put Aradia well within her rights to confront Vriska physically.” Rose nodded, adding a side note about the complexity of obscene hand signs in Alternian society, and invitations to ‘ass-whoopings’.

“The touching of horns is a somewhat intimate gesture, meant to comfort or show pity and affection. Most commonly observed between those in the pale or flushed quadrant, it can be done between friends, and carry no real implications.” Suddenly Rose felt a little foolish, for not picking up on why Kanaya brushed her horns against her hair. She made a mental note to return the gesture in private later on. For now she stowed away her notes and slipped her hand into Kanaya’s.

Back on the half sized couch (the term loveseat was deemed ‘stupid’ by the trolls), Eridan made a slightly bolder move. The movie was probably almost over, so if this went badly, he wouldn’t have to sit in misery and embarrassment for long. Aradia had her legs curled toward Eridan, the hem of her skirt pulled up to her knees. A little quicker than the arm move, he slid his hand onto her knee. First just kind of sitting it there, as if he had no idea what to do from there. As if he had never touched a girls bare knee with out getting slapped. Okay, so maybe he had no experience in this category. Okay, he _definitely_ had no experience in this category. So for lack of a better idea, he moved his thumb, stroking in small circles.

Aradia glanced down at his hand, and decided she appreciated the contact. But he better not try moving that hand up any further in a room full of people. Not that she would approve of him putting his hands anywhere else in private either, of course! She was _not_ easy, despite what Vriska might enjoy implying about her. Maybe she was slightly impulsive at times, but there was nothing wrong with trying to enjoy life to the fullest! (Except for maybe that one time when Gamzee licked her horns. That was pretty weird.)

They stayed like that until the movie ended, enjoying each others closeness. When Sollux clapped the lights on again, the two (along with several others) shifted apart, whatever safety darkness provided for intimacies broken by harsh lighting.

Everyone ignored Karkat’s insistence that he wasn’t going to clean this shit up alone, and chattered on their quick exit out the door. Jade poked Aradia in the side, pulling her slightly out of the way, practically bouncing as she told her;

“Oh my gosh you and Eridan are so adorable!!” Aradia flushed, laughing nervously, not meeting Jade’s excited eyes.

“Oh, wow. We aren’t... I mean he’s being really nice and everything. But we’re not like, a thing.” She played with a lock of her hair, the nervous habit returning for the first time. Jade just nudged her in the side.

“Not yet you aren’t! But you will be, I know it. He’s such a sweetie to you!!! And that’s like, a huuuge deal for him! Because usually he’s kind of a douchey fuckass. No offense.” That got a short laugh out of the troll girl.

“I know, but I just don’t know where it’s going right now. We’ve been on friendly terms for quite a while now, but we just really started flirting today.” ‘ _And what if he turns out to be another bad choice?_ ’ she added on mentally. Up till this point, she had a history of filling quadrants with assholes, and usually ended up getting hurt one way or another. As much as she wanted to trust Eridan to be a good choice, a part of her protested with all of his idiotic behavior in the past. True, he hand’t mentioned genocide of land dwellers in a long time, but she knew blood prejudice didn’t just go away. She was broken out of her reverie by Jade’s hand on her shoulder.

“It’ll be fine! Maybe try talking to him about it if you think you need to!! And even if you guys aren’t matesprits yet, you are still really cute together!!! But, um, I really have to go now! Bye!!” With that she bounded off towards Feferi. Aradia turned back towards Eridan, who was staring blankly at John. She watched the human flail his hands wildly at him, apparently in the middle of some elaborate explanation. Though she couldn’t hear his words, it was safe to assume he was making some point using a movie plot, which would make absolutely no sense to Eridan. Or be of any use at all, to anyone.

Did the those two plan to talk to them separately? If John was trying to give Eridan advice, it could be disastrous. He was a nice guy and all, but once Aradia watched him try and put the moves on Feferi, and just ended up pitying the poor boy terribly. (Fortunately for John, Feferi had felt the same way for him.) Past romantic endeavors aside, John was in no position to give Eridan advice on the subject. And she knew that was exactly what he was doing. All she could do now was hope that Eridan would not try whatever it was that ‘definitely worked in the movie!‘


	7. Chapter 7

The two of them watched John run to catch up with Jade and Feferi, high-fiving both girls enthusiastically. Aradia turned towards Eridan, their eyes meeting with the same confused expression, somehow understanding not to ask about whatever had just happened.

“Soo... Err, do you still want me to help with your pile...bed thing?” Rejoining Aradia, Eridan ran a hand nervously through his hair. Clearly the conversation with John had left him feeling as awkward as she did.

“Sure! If you still want to of course. No pressure.” She chirped, hoping he would say yes. His company was very enjoyable, even if she wasn’t sure where things were going. Immediately he perked up.

“A course I wanna help. Said I would, so I can’t just go and leave you to do all the work by yourself. Not that you couldn’t. Just... I want to. Cause it seems entertainin’. And I can’t go back on my word to a pretty girl.” Realizing he was rambling, he topped talking, looking to her for a reaction. Her mouth was turned up in a smile, but her eyes were on the floor. Then she bumped her hip into him, just enough to throw him off kilter. “Hey, what was that for?” He nudged her back, making her smile break into a laugh as she stumbled a bit.

“You do _not_ think I’m pretty.” She looked up at him, her eyes skeptical, but mouth still smiling. “No, no way! Unless you just have no idea what pretty is.” He gaped at her, disbelieving.

“The fuck are you on about? I know pretty. I’m the best judge a fine ladies everywhere.” He tapped her with his elbow lightly. “Why don’t you think you’re pretty?” She rolled her eyes and shrugged, but her smile wasn’t as bright.

“Look at me! My teeth, my height, my body, my eyes are too big, my ears are dully pointed, my hips and vestigial chest bumps are huge, everything on me is... Soft and round! I’ve got those ugly speckles on my face and shoulders. My only attractive feature is my horns. It’s embarrassing.” Listening to her talk like that sent a wave of pity through him. To him, she really _was_ pretty. Maybe loneliness had changed his perception, but he liked all her features their world had taught her to be ashamed of.

As they reached her respiteblock, he followed her inside and quietly shut the door behind them. Carefully he reached out to run his hand across her back, just above her wings. Truth be told he had no idea how to deal with this situation. But that was nothing new. He thought for a second, trying to decide the best words to make her feel better, or at least not feel any worse.

“Ara, that shits all fucked up and out a date. The world’s gone now. Fuckin’ stupid standards don’t have to count anymore. Err, look at Vriska! She’s got all the stuff people think is good but she just looks like a stick. And she’s a huge damn bitch. Yeah, you’re kinda unconventional with looks. But it doesn’t mean you’re not pretty. You’re just not mainstream. And you know I don’t like mainstream bullshit.”

That did get a little laugh out of her. She turned towards him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. By the time his mind processed it enough for him to hug back, she was pulling away.

“Thanks. I kind of needed to hear that.” She chewed at her lip, then quickly bent down and picked up the sheets from earlier, shoving some of hem into his arms. “And now we have work to do!” Her normal smile was back, which made him smile in return. “Okay. So I’m going for something a little more complicated than a pile. Do you think you can handle my complex architectural plans? ” He snorted and tossed his hair.

“Fuck yeah I can. I’m all over this buildin’ shit.”

Clearly Aradia knew what she wanted, showing him which materials to put where, and together they layered and bunched and shoved pillows and blankets up against the wall until there was a decently sized nest in the corner of her room. She grabbed a spare thin sheet, fastening it in the corner of the room and tacking it so it hung around the sides of her bed.

“I always wanted a tent!” she beamed at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him underneath the canopy, flopping back on their hard work. “It’s like we’re camping!” He followed suit, kicking off his shoes and stealing hers as well, tossing them outside.

“No messin’ this up with shoes. This was fuckin’ artfully crafted.” She nodded solemnly.

“Oh yes, we must have been at it a whole... Five minutes, thirty four seconds, eight milliseconds, and fifty two nano seconds! Such artful mastery.” Eridan nodded as if he understood completely. She laughed a little at her own display of quirkiness, then sighed and fell silent.

After a minute or so she murmured something quietly. “Stay with me.” He looked at her, not really sure if he had heard her right. Her smile was gentle, her voice low. “You don’t have to. But I’d like it. Just, being with you for a while.” Her hand found his, lacing their fingers together. He just nodded, afraid his voice would break if he spoke. After a minute he managed to open his mouth and form coherent words.

“You mean like... For the night.” She nodded. “Y-yeah, okay. I can do that.” The endless possibilities of the situation threatened to break his brain, along with the shock of being _wanted_. Why she had taken a liking to him was way over his head, but he decided not to question it to much. “Im, uh, gonna go get some stuff to sleep in that isn’t... This.” In that moment, he was aware how awkward he sounded, but was still too wrapped up in the moment to care.

“Yeah, that would be a good idea. I don’t think sleeping in your normal clothes would be too comfortable.” She squeezed his hand before he reluctantly let go to get up and push his way out of her tent.

“I’ll be right back.” Pacing himself as he exited her respiteblock, he gently shut the door, and broke into a sprint. His quarters were just down the hall, and in seconds he was bursting in his own door, immediately shedding his cape. Shit! He couldn’t think. Augh, fuck, what was he doing!? Changing, right! He had to sleep in clothes! He tore off his clothes, pulling on the first suitable sleeping attire he found. This meant a mate-slasher and flamboyantly colored, yet incredibly comfortable pants. He burst back out his door, freezing as he spotted John and Karkat in the hallway.

No big deal, he was just going for a walk. Definitely not sleeping over at a girls place. There was absolutely nothing suspicious going on here at all. They payed him almost no mind until he stopped outside Aradia’s door. That made them cease conversation completely and watch him silently. Eridan knocked at her door, staring straight ahead. Mentally he willed her to open up now oh god please don’t leave me out here with them. She opened the door to let him in just as Karkat had found his ability to shout again.

“ _What the fuck is th-_ ” Aradia cut him off, poking her head out the door, smiling brightly at the two boys and giving them a short wave before slamming her door shut again.

“...Karkat?” John said, his eyes still locked on the door. “What was that about?”

“If you’re too fucking stupid to guess, you don’t get to know!”


	8. Chapter 8

For a second, neither of them said anything. Finally Aradia broke the silence with riotous laughter. How was she not completely humiliated? John and Karkat definitely knew something was up, and probably suspected the worst. Still, he couldn’t help but snicker a little himself.

“Oh my _God_ , did you see Karkats face!?” Supporting herself on his shoulders, the girl tried to stop laughing long enough to imitate their dear leader’s dumbstruck face. “Soo awkward! There’s no way to convince them we aren’t going at it right now. Is it bad that I kind of hope they do think that?” Her laughter had lessened, leaving her clinging to his shoulders.

“Wait, what? Why?” Suddenly Eridan was hyper aware of their proximity to each other, and the fact that Aradia seemed to just be wearing an oversized t-shirt. He kept his mind from wondering if there was anything under it. “They don’t need to be assumin’ shit. None a their god damn business who you’re pailin’ with.”

“Hmm, true.” Her hands tightened briefly on his shoulders as she leaned in slightly, pressing her ear to his chest. “I just like making Karkat freak out over nothing.” When she stayed there, he placed a hand on her head, fingers digging into her hair a little. “And I don’t really care if they assume things about me. Thing is, everyone is always gossiping about everyone else. So the least we can do is give them something to actually gossip about.”

“Like me sleepin’ over.” He felt her hum confirmation against his chest. Sliding his hand from barely touching her back, down to rest firmly against her waist gave him confirmation that she was definitely not wearing a bra. Not that he was checking for that, but his mind was hanging precariously over the gutter, so not paying attention to such details was essentially impossible. “Do you have people over like this often?”

“No, not at all, actually.” Her arms wrapped around his waist. “You’re the first since I died.” Oh. That was very nice to hear. He kept his comments to himself, though. Anything he thought to say sounded stupid or could be taken badly. Instead he nodded, chin resting on her horns. “Your skin is so cool.” It was possible Aradia was having trouble finding the right words as well.

“Says the space heater.” He silently chucked, pleased to feel her laughing with him. She took a deep breath, pausing for a second, somehow feeling more serious in his arms.

“Eridan... What are we doing?” Fuck, she was having second thoughts. Realizing how stupid it was to waste her time on him. But she didn’t pull away yet.

“Ah. Well, I don’t know. Whatever it is I’m pretty okay with it.” She said something quietly, too indistinct for him to make out. “Hmm?”

“I’m definitely okay with it. Probably shouldn’t be, but I am.” Her face turned up to meet his, expression slightly uncertain, but happy. Uncurling herself from him, Aradia took a hold of his hand, pulling him back into her tent. He let himself be pushed into a seated position, and tried not to freak out as she climbed into his lap, facing him. The whatever it was that they had hung around them, beating mercilessly in Eridan’s ears.

All was quiet in Aradia’s mind. She knew all the things she wanted, and had a pretty good idea of what he wanted. Somehow it made her feel serene. She could feel everything. With hardly any warning she thrust her hands back through his hair. His jaw slackened, revealing the tips of dangerous looking teeth. Uneven, razor sharp, messy. Somewhere in her mind flickered an image that could be made horrific with teeth like his. Thinking about it should have made her apprehensive, think twice about any more intimacies. Instead she took a breath and kissed him.

Reflexively, he took his hands off of her when she first pressed their lips together. When it hit him that she wanted him to kiss her back, he closed his eyes and pulled her tightly against him. She took the lead for the most part, coaxing his mouth open to slide their tongues together, alternating with teasing pecks against the corner of his mouth and slow, deep kisses that drew the barest hints of sound from his throat. Finally, she sensed him grow a little bolder, his hands sliding from their previous position on her hips to squeeze her behind.

Fuckin’ hell she was just in panties under that shirt. He felt along the sides of her thighs carefully, half expecting her to push him away and kick him out at any second. Every inch of her he touched, he tried to memorize with his hands, as if it were his only way to sense her. A few times he felt his teeth nick her lips and tongue, each time apologizing with gentle swipes of his tongue. When her hands slid under and up his shirt, he gripped the sensitive flesh of her thighs with his nails. He missed the heat of her against him for a brief moment when Aradia pulled his mate-slasher over his head. She sat back on her heels, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“You okay?” His voice came out shaky, out of breath. Her breathing was slow, even, controlled. She nodded, swallowing nervously as one hand reached to the back of her neck. Not sure what to expect, he watched her intently. With a shift of her shoulders, the oversized t-shirt fell down, the buttons that held her top together above her wings undone, allowing the large slit down the back to open up, pooling around her waist and hips.

Once his mind started up again, Eridan ran his hand down her chest, noting the way her cardiovascular rhythm fluttered. He kissed her lips, moving just under her jaw to suck at the delicate skin of her neck. She tipped her head, slowly shifting to rest back on her elbows. He leaned with her, parting her knees to settle between them. Everything about her was warm, inviting, soft and smooth in ways he hadn’t realized he needed so badly.

Despite the fact that he seemed unsure in his actions, Aradia delighted in his attentions. Occasionally his teeth would leave marks on her neck and chest, but she didn’t mind. It was nothing she couldn’t handle. She may even enjoy the welts he left, seeing them as dark marks that meant someone wanted her, instead of badges of shame. He had stopped.

She opened her eyes to find him staring up at her, hands on her upper thighs, eyes wide and dilated. As if he could hear her thoughts, he slid back up to face her, arms slipping around her neck, their foreheads pressed together.

“Why’re you lettin’ me do this? Kiss you and touch you and stuff.” His eyes fell shut as she stroked her fingers up and down his side, brushing the gills that lined his ribs.

“Because I like you. So I want us to kiss and touch. And stuff.” He tensed above her. “But not right now. Right now I would just like to lay with you for a while. Is that alright?” She combed her fingers through his curls, her other hand still making lazy trails over his back and sides.

“Course that’s alright. But...Ara?” He hesitated, face twisting into mild embarrassment.

“Hmm?”

“You gotta stop touchin’ my gills. You’re makin’ me crazy.” Immediately her hands ceased their exploration.

“Oh...Sorry. I didn’t realize.” The silence edged towards awkward, now hyper aware of his arousal. Her arousal. They both shifted slightly.

“No, no you’re fine. I just. Need to not. Be on top of you for a minute.” With those eloquent words he rolled off of her, nestling under a blanket, thinking the least erotic thoughts he could with a mostly naked girl next to him. _Dead fish. Boats. Equius._ Oh god there, that was turning him off faster than he ever thought possible. When Eridan looked away from the roof of the tent, Aradia had put on her top again. Whether or not this was a good thing, he couldn’t decide.

After a bit, she joined him under the sheets, curling around him so her head rested on his chest. Everything suddenly felt very heavy. Was this one of those ‘inevitable‘ things? What had lead her to choose him? No one chose him, ever. He was an arrogant hipster douche bag who ran around in a cape on a regular basis. Even worse (and much less spoken of) he had once claimed to want the slaughter of people like her. He had killed before, of course, but something about the _idea_ of genocide based on the hemospectrum seemed far worse to him suddenly. Even if his heart wasn’t totally in it, he had still planned it, still worked toward it and killed countless land dwellers. He used to want her dead, and now she was pressed against him, as if it were normal to snuggle up with those who threatened genocide.

“Hey.” She kissed his shoulder. “You think too much, you know that?” Eridan looked at her warily. Clearly she hadn’t picked up on the fact that he wasn’t worth her time. And maybe it would take her a while, so he might as well enjoy this while it lasted.

Pulling her a little closer, he tapped their horns together, getting a contented rumble from the girl. As he ran his hand through her hair, she hummed quietly, the tune was nothing he recognized. For the moment he let himself relax, listening to her voice and savoring her.


	9. Interlude (the gossip mill)

The veil was not designed for entertainment. Especially for the entertainment of sixteen teenagers. They found ways to keep themselves occupied as best they could, teaching each other how to knit, growing food in artificial sunlight, building robots, playing fiduspawn, endless jam sessions, and knitting horrible sweaters. But still, boredom was a major problem. So for lack of better things to do, they gossiped. About everything.

The gossip mill had produced such gems of rumors like ‘John is a homosexual’, ‘Sollux has two dicks’, and ‘Vriska has a mustache’. Some were more accurate than others, but most of the time they were just wild exaggerations and misinterpretations.

“they were probably just having a sleepover!”  
“TROLLS DON’T FUCKING HAVE SLEEPOVERS, NOOKWIPE.”  
“oh. so then do you really think aradia and eridan were...”   
“YES. YES I FUCKING DO. I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THE IDEA OF AMPORA PORKING ANYONE IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME WANT TO DROWN IN A PUTRID WAVE OF MY OWN RAGE BILE.”  
“trolls have rage bile?”  
“JUST SHUT UP.”   
“What was that a8out Ampora porking someone?”  
“aradia and eridan were gonna have sex! we saw him in the hallway.”  
“Whaaaaaaaat?! In the hallway!?!?!?!?”   
“yep!”  
“Oh my god that is 8eyond disgusting.”

“uH, WHAT, vRISKA, aRE YOU, uM, sURE ABOUT THAT, i DON’T THINK ARADIA IS EXACTLY THE, uM TYPE OF GIRL TO DO A THING, uH LIKE THAT, eSPECIALLY WITH ERIDAN,”  
“Are you dou8ting me, pupa?!”  
“uH, nO, s-SORRY.”  
“Good.”

“ShIt, My mAn yOu hAvE MoThErFuCkIn’ GoT To sToP LeTtIn’ A SiStEr pUsH YoU ThE MoThErFuCk aRoUnD LiKe tHaT.”   
“oH, wELL, sHE DOES THAT UH, a LOT, bUT SOMETIMES I JUST SAY THINGS TO MAKE HER STOP UM, bOTHERING ME SO MUCH, i DON’T REALLY THINK THAT THEY WERE UH, dOING THINGS LIKE THAT IN THE HALLWAY,”  
“AiN’T NoThInG FuCkInG WrOnG WiTh gEtTiN’ sOmE BiTcHtItS LoViN’ oN.”  
“bUT,,, tHE HALLWAY,”  
“HaLlS ArE LiKe fUcKiN TuNnElS Of lOvE My bRoThEr. JuSt gOtTa gO WiTh tHe fLoW. iF ThE MoThErFuCkIn mEsSiAhS ArE TeLlInG YoU To sHoW YoUr mAiN ChIcA SoMe sWeEt pItY, yOu jUsT HaVe tO Up aNd rOlL WiTh iT.”  
“gAMZEE, sOMETIMES THE THINGS YOU SAY UH, sCARE ME A LOT,”

“D --> What is this f001ishness about lewd interactions between Miss Aradia and the sea dweller? She would never submit to such... such debauched actions!”  
“um... i dont really think its any of your business!!! plus theyre sooo cute! don’t you think so??”  
“D --> I.. Uh..It is highly...”  
“jegus christ jade youre gonna give ponyboy a fucking aneurysm   
you know he wants to be all up in my main time ladys grill   
too bad hitlerfish got there first   
in the hall.”  
“i heard it was the computer lab!!!!”   
“D --> That is not-”  
“cram it rainbow dash”  
“D --> Hrrk”  
“heeheehee!!!”

“O)( my gos)( Sollux did you )(ear!?”  
“ii hear a lot of thiing2. what the hell ii2 iit now?”  
“Aradia and -Eridan were totally glubbing in t)(e kitc)(en on t)(e STOV----E!”  
“what the fuck?”  
“W)(ale... It mig)(t just be a rumor! But I’m pretty s)(ore t)(ey’re in a quadrant!”  
“...”  
“Sollux?”  
“iif he lay2 a hand on her ii’m gonna kiick hii2 a22. twiice.”  
“But!”  
“twice.”  
“...glub.”


	10. Chapter 10

Over the course of the rest of the evening, Eridan acquired four and a half hickies, and Aradia, one rather nasty looking bite on her neck when he got a little over zealous. There was basically no way to hide it, aside from wearing a scarf until it healed. So before they left the room, she covered it up as best she could with makeup and strategically wrapped Eridan's scarf around her neck. It may have been an unforeseen change in clothing change for Aradia, but most likely wouldn't draw much attention. Unfortunately, luck was not on her side.

"Well well well, look who finally got off of Ampora's bulge long enough to come see everyone." Vriska slunk into the seat next to Aradia, grinning at her smugly. Determined to not let Vriska's comments get to her this early in the day, Aradia responded as pleasantly as possible. 

"I don't know what gave you the impression I ever was on his bulge in the first place, we just hung out late yesterday. That's all." Briefly Vriska lost her smile, but quickly found a more devious look. 

"So what's with the scarf then, huh? People just don't walk around wearing each others clothes. And no one but fishface would put that godawful thing on with out a purpose." Before Aradia could stop her, she reached forward to tug at the scarf. When it fell to reveal the bite (which had now bruised to vibrant shades of black and maroon) her jaw dropped.

"Holy shit." Aradia cringed. "You are into some kinky stuff for the flushed quadrant. Do you have any others?" Immediately she was tugging at Aradia’s shirt, investigating every inch of skin she could lay eyes on.

"No! No I do not! Will you stop?" she smacked Vriska’s prying hands, adjusting her clothes neatly. 

"You so do, I know it. You big slut, good for you!" A friendly elbow nudge in the side threatened to puncture. Aradia was not amused. 

"This." She indicated the bite. "Was an accident. Ugh and yes, we were fooling around but we didn't get that far. That enough information for you?" Vriska shrugged. 

"I suppose. For now at least. But just so you know everyone thinks you two are going at it like hopbeasts." This got her attention.

"What? Oh for gods sake. Why do they think that?"

"Well... I maybe misinterpreted something John told me. But it's not my fault people think you two were going at it in the kitchen. And the greenhouse." With a groan, Aradia’s head met the table. 

"Nope. No. I'm not even going to get mad. I don't care. No one actually buys stupid shit like that anyway. Let them think what they want. I don't care." Vriska nodded in approval and patted her on the back. 

"Good. Glad you realize it wasn't my fault. Which it wasn't. By the way here comes lithpy." Aradia lifted her head from the table just in time to see Sollux next to her.

"Hey Sollux! Ho-"

"What the fuck happened to your neck?" The look on his face was intense, somewhere between rage and worry. Aradia waved her hands, shaking her head as she tried to convince him.

"Nothing! Nothing happened. Don't even concern yourself with it." It didn't work. Despite her protests, Sollux seemed determined to make it his concern. 

"What the fuck do you mean? It lookth like a fucking animal bit you! Did he do thith? Holy shit I knew he'd fuck thith up. Aradia, did he take advantage of you? God damnit I am tho kicking hith ath."

"No, I know it looks bad! Sollux. Sollux! No he didn't- he didn't mean to. Sollux don't fucking- Arghh!" 

Sollux was on the transportalizer pad before she could stop him. 

"Hey! He's still my backup-backup kismesis! Watch it Captor!" Vriska shouted helpfully after him. Aradia dropped back into her seat, head in her hands. 

"I hate it when he gets like that. Stupid and jumpy and pissed at everything." Finally Vriska stopped worrying about keeping her black romances in line and begrudgingly patted Aradia between the horns. 

"There, there. Don't get your panties in a twist, Megido. You know they won't rough each other up too bad. Unfortunately." Aradia sighed, taking a long drink of her tea.

"Is it really that big of a deal I kind of have a thing with him? No one cares when anyone else hooks up."

"Yeah but its _Eridan_. Until you he was well on his way to dying alone. And bothering the shit out of all of us." She stole a drink of her tea, making a face at the unsweetened flavor. "What do you see in that loser anyway?" Aradia stared at her drink, knitting her brows. 

"I don't know. He's always been pretty decent to me. For being a low blood of course. And recently we started talking more...It's nice. Really, he isn't bad at all. He's just kind of a big nerd actually. Sad, too. He's easy to pity if you get past the layers of arrogant doucheyness. And he appreciates me. My looks too, not in spite of them but because of them. I like that. It's new, being seen as both pretty and someone of worth. I feel spoiled." For a minute Vriska just stared at her, dumbfounded. 

"Wow. You actually really like him. I mean, holy shit. Eww. I thought maybe he was just good in the sack." Aradia shot her a look.

"I told you-"

"Yeah, yeah. You're not that big of a slut. Yet. But surely you can tell me if he's as terrible of a kisser as I remember." Aradia's smile spread across her face despite her attempts to seem nonchalant. 

"No. He has improved. I have absolutely no idea how, but he has. He was a little timid at first, though. But that didn't last." One of Vriska's claws jabbed the bite, drawing a hiss from Aradia.

"Clearly."

With that, Aradia wrapped the scarf back around her neck, both as a protective measure and incase anyone else came in unexpectedly. 

"It was an accident! He was very careful otherwise." She stood and cleared her space, taking Vriska’s dishes to the sink as well before the girl could leave it to be someone else’s problem. "I should probably go make sure Sollux and Eridan don't kill each other." Vriska shrugged and opened her husktop, pulling up adiosToreador on trollian. It was just wrong to let Tavros go unbothered for this long.

"Call me if they're fighting. I wanna see that!" Shaking her head, Aradia transportalized out of the kitchen and into one of the main hallways. She stopped to listen briefly, and fluttered off towards the sound of shouting.


	11. Chapter 11

"I SAID CRAM IT, FUCKASSES!" Jade stood in the middle of a storage room, brandishing a broom like a rifle. In opposite corners stood Eridan and Sollux, noses in the corner. "Eridan, you may start." Her smile was just a little too sweet to be on a girl that could yell and cuss like a hearing impaired sailor. Eridan sighed dramatically.

"I didn't do shit to him! For once. He just fuckin’ jumped me in the hall, spewin' some bullshit about me takin' advantage of Aradia. Which I sure as fuck didn't." Aradia poked her head into the room, unseen by the boys. 

' _What happened?_ ' she mouthed to Jade, nodding at the two.

 _'Fighting, duh!_ ' Jade shrugged, then continued. ' _I’m auspisticizing. Kinda._ '

Aradia nodded approvingly and leaned against the door frame to listen. 

"Okay, Sollux, go." 

"I don't give a fuck what that ath hole thays. There ith no way he ithn't up to thomething. Have you theen her neck? He fucking mauled it. Tho yeah maybe I jumped hith thtupid ath. He detherved it. I'm not letting him hurt AA." Eridan whirled around, but stayed in his corner. Jade's threatening jabs with the broom had no affect on him. 

"Fuck you. That was an accident. And I am not fuckin' hurtin' her. I happen to actually like her, a lot, I'll have you know." Sollux turned over his shoulder to hiss at him.

" _You_? Flushed for _her_? Give me a break. You're uthing her. Don't think jutht becauthe you haven't killed anyone yet, that people don't know what you think about land dwellerth. You take ridiculouth pride in your shitty purple blood, act like it maketh you tho thuperior, and now you exthpect me to believe you'll treat her right?" By this point Eridan had seen Aradia, now avoiding looking at her, facial fins tucked and lowered in shame. 

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up." Was all he managed. In the center of the room, Jade looked highly uncomfortable. 

"Um, Aradia, can we see the bite?" Nodding, she pulled off the scarf. Sollux turned around to look at her, expression unreadable. A wince and accompanying hiss from Jade broke the incredibly uncomfortable silence. 

"Ooh, wow that does look pretty bad! Are you okay?” Jade had enough wisdom not to touch the bite, leaning in close to examine it.

“Yes, I’m fine. And I tried to tell that to Sollux a bit ago before he jumped to conclusions and went after Eridan. Though I’m pretty sure you would have anyway, bite or no bite.” Sollux shrugged.

“Maybe. But what wath I thuppothed to think? You’re too nithe to thay anything if he did hurt you. He did fuck up my eye though.” He indicated his swollen blue eye, surrounded by yellow bruising.

“You broke my fuckin’ nose!” He spat, the bandage on his nose making it difficult to keep his glasses on.

“Stop whining! Both of you! Now that we know theres no problem, and no one was seriously injured, there is no reason to fight. Right guys?” Jade beamed at them, getting a grumbled vague response of acceptance from the two boys. Sollux stopped on his way out the door.

“Thorry about all thith. I jutht-” She stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Its okay. But next time make sure you’re actually fighting him over something legitimate. Is your eye alright?” He smiled and poked his bruise.

“Can’t even feel it.”

“Good. Make sure you’re sleeping, okay?” And eating. And not doing anything too stupid. But she kept the rest of that to herself, Sollux could handle himself, manic or not.

After Sollux left, Jade shoved a few squiddles bandaids into Eridan’s hand and stormed out saying something about how ‘auspisticizing is useless for idiot fuckasses’.


	12. Chapter 12

“So everyone knows, huh?” Eridan dragged a hand through his hair, still not quite meeting Aradia’s eyes. 

“Kind of. Not all the accurate details though. You’re not embarrassed are you?” A little part of her thought he might be ashamed for everyone to know he was (almost) in a quadrant with someone like her. 

“No, _cod_ no I’m not embarrassed. Ara, I really do pity you. A lot.” As stupid as saying it out loud to her felt, he went on. “You’re kinda the only one who ever gave me the time a night. If anything you’re too good for me. I can’t figure out why you want to waste your time on a prick like me.” She took his hand and pressed up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Listen, I don't care about what you said or did in the past. Everyone is messed up in their own way. What I do care about is you being a better troll. Because you are a good guy. Kind of a prick sometimes." She knocked her horns against his shoulder affectionately. "But absolutely worth my time." Finally, he made eye contact, smiling despite the resistance from a split lip, then pulled her up to kiss her properly on the lips. "Is your nose okay?" It was hard to assess damage with a bandage on, but his eyes were bruised and she suspected it was much worse underneath. He nodded.

"Just broken, but nothing too bad. Might be kinda crooked. Asshole got me by surprise. If it had been a proper fight I coulda kicked his stupid lithping ass." Except that Eridan was not very good in a fist fight at all, so he was almost guaranteed to get his ass kicked, prepared or not. Even so, Aradia nodded as if she knew it was true and kissed him again. And again. Until his hand found it's way up her shirt, sliding up her stomach in an attempt to reach her breasts. Aradia wrapped her legs around his waist for support, aided by his hand gripping her upper thigh.

The sudden grating voice of Karkat shocked Eridan enough to drop Aradia flat on her back.

"For fucks sake! Stop! Just. Fucking. You two are revolting! The next time I see you two-" Dave trapped Karkat's mouth in a loving embrace. 

"What nubby is trying to say, is get a room." He smirked, which was a little worrying, because Dave hardly cracked his pokerface. "We've been wondering though..." Dave kept a tight grip around a growling, flailing Karkat, his free hand stroking an invisible beard. "Stick your tongue out, little mermaid." 

Eridan looked down at Aradia, who had apparently opted to stay on the floor for the time being. They both shrugged, not sure what significance this could hold. Eridan stuck his tongue out between his lips. 

"No no, all the way. Open your mouth and say 'ahh' cause it's check up time." Still confused, Eridan complied. Dave arched a pale eyebrow. "Damn. That thing is freaky." Aradia stood, giving the human boy a nasty warning look. 

"Dave. Stop. That's not-" He cut her off, an uncharacteristic mischievous grin across his face. 

"So you _have_ been thinking about it, huh? From the looks of that thing you should be fine, unless he gets a little uhh... Over eager." He motioned to her neck. Karkat stood completely silent, a disgusted look directed at Dave. Three of the four were sharing an incredibly awkward moment. Eridan closed his mouth. 

"What? Thinking about what?" Aradia placed a hand on his shoulder, shanking her head, a light grimace on her face.

Certain sexual acts were rare amongst highbloods, made difficult by sharp fangs and more volatile tempers. The last thing you want is an angry troll putting their mouth on extremely sensitive areas. Or a careless one. Or a kismesis. As a whole, trolls did not do a lot of oral. It seemed Dave had picked up on this, and felt the need to exploit Eridan's ignorance. 

How he had gotten the idea that the rather long tongues (which often accompanied such nasty chompers) were useful for things like that, Aradia did not want to know. A smile only Terezi could love still across his features, Dave peered over his glasses at Eridan, and stuck his tongue between forked fingers as he strolled off, sputtering Karkat in tow. 

Aradia watched realization hit Eridan, his jaw going a little slack as purple spread across his cheeks and into his fins. Cautiously he turned to her, the same blush burning her face with embarrassment, shock, awkwardness, but also curiosity, and _possibility_. 

"Well... That was awkward." Her voice was low and halting, thick with anxiety and something like want. Before he could stop himself, Eridan said the only thing he could think of. 

"Can we try it?" 

"Absolutely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there was talk of legitimate smuttiness.   
> Secretly this story is really just about incredibly awkward moments.


	13. Chapter 13

They agreed to meet back up that evening, Aradia needed to help Jade take care of the frogs, and then had some weird time shit to do with Dave. Eridan opted to pay Kanaya a visit. It had been too long since he last saw his almost moirail, and he could use some advice. 

“Come in.” Kanaya’s voice drifted from the other side of the door, warm and pleasant as always. Neither Rose nor Kanaya stopped their work as Eridan let himself in. Rose was nestled in a plush chair, knitting needles clicking rhythmically, creating some sort of black and purple garment. Kanaya looked up at him, giving him a small smile before frowning in disapproval. “What” She nodded at his nose. “Is that? And how did you manage to acquire it?” A finely plucked eyebrow raised itself in judgement before he had opened his mouth. 

“Fuckin’ Sol jumped me. Broke my nose.” Just thinking about it brought the throbbing back, he was thankful that the bleeding hadn’t resumed since he initially stopped it (with his cape, which had been a rather shitty shield). 

“And what provoked Sollux to such actions?” She rose from her seat, taking a dress from the ever growing pile of works in progress, and handed it to him. “Put that on.”

“He thought I was hurtin’ or takin’ advantage a Ara. Which I’m not.” Quickly, he shed his clothes, pulling the loose green dress over his head. Kanaya approached with a squiddle full of pins and ribbons of fabric draped over her arm. Her skilled fingers tucked and pinned the dress around him as Eridan examined himself in the mirror. 

“Would it be presumptuous of me to assume that the reason for Sollux believing you to be mistreating Aradia, would be a rather nasty bite on her neck?” Eridan opened his mouth to find out how the hell she knew about that, but she cut him off. “Vriska informed us, or course. She simply cannot keep anything to herself. ” Oh. Of course it was Vriska. “But you did bite her then. Quite viciously if what I hear is to be believed.” His gaze dropped to the floor, still embarrassed over the incident. 

“Yeah. I uh, got kinda carried away. Cleaned it up though. Don’t need her gettin’ some fuckin’ human disease.” 

“I assure you that Aradia will contract no infection from dirty aliens like myself.” Rose piped up, not looking at Eridan, but her voice held no real venom. “You do care for her then? Enough to clean her wounds.” An almost imperceptible smile had crept on to her black painted lips. 

“Yeah. So?” He did his best to scowl at the girl, who continued to pay him little visual attention. “What, you think I can’t have feelins for her too?” Automatically he bristled. Why was it so hard for people to believe that it was possible for him to pity her? Yes, he had a long history of being a douchebag, but that didn’t mean he was incapable of being something non-douchey. Finally Rose glanced up at him, observing the way Kanaya fussed around him, hemming and pinning pink lining around the edges of the dress. 

“No, that’s not what I was implying at all. I simply find the image of you caring for her wound both charming and unexpected. Somewhat like seeing some creature typically viewed as dangerous look after its young. Your immediate response of hostility is interesting. Why do you think you feel the need to defend yourself at all times?”

“Not playin’ psycho-bullshit today, witch.” Rose gave a small ‘hmph’ and went back to her project. “But, uh, Kan?” Kanaya turned towards him in the mirror, wrapping a braid of pink ribbon around his waist. “How do I not... Hurt her with my teeth? Accidentally.” 

“Resist the urge to maim her with your fangs.”

“Yeah not a problem. I mean like... How do I avoid nickin’ her if I’m kissin’... Other places.” The clicking of knitting needles stopped. Kanaya raised both eyebrows. Eridan’s cheeks went a dark purple. 

“Oh! You mean in the practice of cunnilingus.” Was it okay to talk about this stuff with your moirail? It seemed like a good place for advice, but Eridan had certainly never gone to Feferi for sex tips. Kanaya returned to work, moving more slowly, a little embarrassed herself. “I advise you to take great care. The female anatomy is highly sensitive, as well as delicate.” Perhaps subconsciously, her eyes flicked towards Rose for the briefest of moments. (Some part of his mind thought that if Aradia were here, she could say exactly how brief.) 

When she spoke again, Kanaya’s voice was lower. “Make extensive use of your lips and tongue. And cut your claws. You will tear her to shreds, otherwise.” She looked him over, then went to her closet. Seconds later she returned with dark pink tights, and a pair of rather lacy underwear. The things you do for your moirail. He slid on the undergarments, then the heels she gave him. His lips stayed firmly pressed together, keeping in a comment about how Kanaya must have figured that out from experience with her own delicate test subject. 

“Thanks Kan. I like this one. It’d be better in purple though.” Kanaya hummed in neither confirmation nor denial, just acknowledging that she had heard him. Her hands smoothed the sides, ridding the dress of wrinkles that weren’t really there. 

“You do look good in it. May I add a touch of cosmetics?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Course you can.” This of course delighted her. Pushing him into a chair, she applied light shades of pink and green to his eyes, dabbing her signature green lipstick onto his lips. “You don’t think I’ll hurt her, right? Not if I’m real careful?” A sweep of blush across his cheeks. 

“Not if you are careful.” Graceful hands stroked through his curls, making them even more unruly than they already were. “You two are an odd match. Yet often times the most unlikely pairs are the ones that turn out to form the strongest bonds and are the best matched.” Eridan smoothed his skirt as he smiled crookedly at his moirail, who may have acted like he was a burden at times, but never failed to say the right thing. And on the other side of the room, Rose smiled to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN UPDATE? SWEET JESUS!  
> This chapter was written a bajillion years ago, and for some reason I never posted it here? But I do actually want to pick this back up again. I really love this fic and it was fun to write, but life got in the way for a while, and I... just... No excuses. I'm gonna keep writing this.
> 
> (I think the most important part of this chapter is that Kanaya says 'cunnilingus'. And you know she says that every single time the subject arises. Every. Single. Time. Awkward moments.)


End file.
